rawr.

i am freaking tired from training, although i really dont know why! i mean, i didnt do pt, (as usual) because my stupid knee really hurts when i run and jump and stuff nowadays, and i didnt do drill for parade prep. so i barely did anything physically exerting today, but im still so tired!

nyeh i bet its all the stupid exams. mugging and mugging and mugging.

today i fell asleep in history! and actually at first quite alot of people fell asleep la, so bryden!chew was like 'eh why's everybody sleeping today?' and someone told him its cause we were all busy mugging for history. and later on i dont know why but the rest of the class woke up and i was still like, fast asleep (which explains why i dont know why) and the lesson was ending, and bryden!chew said "see, joyce is still fast asleep" and i really dont know why (again) but at the mention of my name i just like, immediately woke up with a jump. and bryden!chew was like abit taken aback and like o.O

chloe and i are EMCEES EMCEES whee :D pop is gonna be awesomezz.

and yeaah this is a random blogpost because i am really bored and really dont wanna go back to doing homework and whatev. and also cause history is over, and the next upcoming test is chinese (haha whatever die already so like whocares!) on friday. and english and geog next week (%!#&*$!#*% but whatever its NEXT WEEK so i'll save the panic for then) and YEAH. that basically leaves me with a little teeny bit of time to like, rest :D

lalalalaa.


(end of random babble inaccurately termed a blog entry)



(start of rant)

graaaaaah. ): ): %#!#!(*%#!(*%)Y%!*#&%)Y*#&!%!Y#*&HIEUFNKASJNCAKGR#IQYR#(&%#(*!$(#!(*#!&$)!#%#!&!# grrrrr.



i really really dontlike myself sometimes!

i cant stand me, seriously. ):

i mean, ugh! for once, could you not screw up something?

and like yeah whatever, i made a mistake. so freaking whaaaat. talk la, talk. whatever. probably deserve it or something, huh. but still. dont need to drag people into it.

its already annoying enough as it is la. and now its becoming majorly majorly annoying.

backoffzz.


and although the talk is annoying, like whatever. i know you have my best interests at heart, and its totally for my own good. but still! i feel so bad, zomg.

like, trying to get rid of someone just cause you perceive that person to be slightly detrimental to your life?


you dont necessarily have to like that person one teensy little bit, or even be the merest of acquaintances with that person.

its still wrong.



like the last time i did that? i remember (although i know you meant well) that you told me that if i continued hanging out with (that person) my social standing would drop like, alotalotalot.

i felt so bad.

like XXX was remotely nice, okay =/ weird, but still, nice. i felt really bad having to like dao her and act so nonchalent. and be so mean. like hello, XXX copied homework for me, and even helped me take notes while i was sick. and what did i do? be mean. borrow stuff from XXX, but just 'mm' in reply whenever XXX said anything.

well, like, yeah!

so badd.


and that incident. like omg. it could have just been a small misunderstanding, you know? a tiny little thing that should have been THIS blown out of proportion. a teensy squabble. a blogpost that was never meant for your eyes. something that was taken far too seriously. and you just went along with it.

okay not only that, you fuelled it.

and it lost me a rl friend.

joyce ong, dyou know how horrible you are?

and even that other time. i lost a friend because of stupid greed, and because of stupidly trying to actcool in front of (cannot use the letters XXX again so i'll use) YYY. haah dream on! i bet YYY thought you were being stupid too. and you lost a pretty good friend, okay. online friend, no doubt, and one that had tried to scam you before. but still, a friend. and a friend that forgave you after that, zomgtheguilt.

i keep using 'z's! why ah. i must be sleepy. even though its like only 8.30, bleah. (yknow like zomg, omgzz)


graah.

the veryvery first person in question (i just realised i havent given that person a code yet so i'll use) ZZZ. (aah, the Zs! getting so sleepy.)

yeah, so ZZZ may not be a friend. and you might feel totally awkward around ZZZ, but thats really no reason to do that.

it'll still be talked about anyway, and will probably have even greater backlash.

so whats the big deaaal.

at most, i transfer to hwachong la.